LocalAppetite: Assimilation to a San Franciscan achieved in 10 steps

Step 1: Have you figured out how to dress in layers for the 2-3 weather patterns in a day and at the same time still seem season-appropriate?

Step 2: Have you figured out how to assess quickly which one of the 4 types of strangers just started talking to you so you can act accordingly?

a) person appears normal, just chatty (smile and chat back);

b) person asking / demanding money (your choice here);

c) mentally-ill type about to trap you in an embarrassing public conversation that there is no easy way out of (back away slowly);

d) confused or under the influence person - actually talking out loud to himself, not you (avoid eye contact, and move out of sight)

Step 3: Have you started complaining about MUNI rather than be excited you don’t need a car?

Step 4: Have you accepted an unusual or previously thought below your standards living situation in order to not have to move to the East Bay?

Step 5: Have you learned to unwrap your burrito in a neat and civilized manner?

Step 6: Have you learned to stand at the corner and patiently wait to cross with the light, even if there are no cars coming?

Step 7: Are you passionate about your neighborhood, and that it is the only place you could live in the city?

Step 8: Do you do at least one of the following: hiking, surfing, snow boarding, mountain biking, or sailing, even though you’d describe yourself as a “city person”?

Step 9: Have you joined a group relating to your dog / future burning man plans / a political cause /or biking advocacy?

Step 10: Do you have a rent-controlled apartment that you will live in till you die, and never have to leave?

If you answered yes to all 10 questions, congratulate yourself, you are now official.